Onto the Next

The Editor’s Blog defines the end of a Chapter “…the last scene, the last paragraph, the last sentence—brings closure to one chapter but at the same time needs to lead readers and characters to the next scene and chapter and story event.”

This is where I find myself. At the end of a particular chapter of my life. This chapter comes to a close much the way it began; with a scar. Fortunately for me, the doctors have all agreed that I’m going under the knife one (hopefully) last time to have my mediport removed; the device that was used for my chemo infusions.

Fortunately, I’ll only have a scar to show for my little souvenir. One of many that I’ve acquired over this last chapter. I’m going to be stuck wearing a one-piece swimsuit this summer, that’s for sure. Sorry, no witty picture or video for that. You’ll have to use your imagination. You’re welcome. Yes, I’m aware that Rodan & Fields makes something for that. No, I’m not doing the before and after photos. You’re welcome.

I’ve spent a good bit pondering on this past year. It would be easy to say that this has been a “bad year”. I refuse to apply any sense of goodness or badness to this past year. Time isn’t moral. It has no agency or action. All it does is … pass. I’m not going to deceive myself and say that there were not some times during this past chapter that I enjoyed more or less than others. The French have an expression for that, “Well, duh!” Ever expressive, the French.


My pondering has left me to think that if the past 16 odd months haven’t been bad, what have they been? Difficult, without a doubt. Challenging, definitely. Disappointing, in some ways. We had made some plans that Seamus managed to derail. And as the great American philosopher, Mike Tyson, once said “Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” Seamus had a heck of a punch. I learned a lot, so instructive maybe.

Regardless of my thoughts on this chapter of my life, it is being marked closed. Part of me, can’t believe it. It honestly feels like a lifetime ago when this particular chapter started; Halloween 2017. Most of all, though. I think I’ll leave this chapter knowing that what happened, happened and couldn’t have happened any other way. How do I know? I’m still alive.

morpheus gif

Crossing the Jordan

Had some great news from my Doc appointment today. My wound has healed.

Truth in lending. My wound was healed on Monday, but I wanted confirmation before I got too excited. Monday when we changed out the ribbon packing my wound we were a little surprised. The ribbon, roughly four inches, had been pushed out of the tunnel and was coiled up nicely at the bottom of my “third belly button”. Yeah, I have three belly buttons now. Miracle of modern medicine. There’s also a nice set of railroad track looking scars. Gonna forgo the pic on this one. You’re welcome

We were shocked; shouldn’t have been, but we were. Our small group prayed for healing for my wound Friday night, and I got it. The tunnel went from 4.5 cm to 0.2 cm in three days. If that’s not God’s healing I don’t know what is. What I know is that God hears Ann’s prayers. There is no doubt in my mind of that.

Now it’s a bit of a mad dash:

  1. Appointment with my Surgeon on Friday
  2. Get a hold of the Oncologist and get chemo scheduled
  3. Bloodwork for my CAT Scan, Thursday
  4. CAT scan Sunday afternoon. Yes. Super Bowl Sunday. Probably why they had an opening. Let’s face it, I don’t watch the 38 hours of pre-game anyways.
  5. My country’s 500th anniversary to plan
  6. More bloodwork 48 hours before I start chemo (see #2)
  7. Probably something else I forgot

I’m at my Jordan river and I’ll admit I’m scared. I’ve spent almost three months recovering from surgery waiting to get moving. I’m moving. Look. It’s not 40 years of wilderness, I get that. It sure felt that way at times. All I have to do now is cross the river and fight my battles. God promised Israel victories, but they still had hard work to do.

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Joshua took 12 stones from the River and set them up as a reminder of what God had done, in the crossing (Joshua 4:1-9). With that in mind, I’m happy with my three belly buttons. There could have been more…