Onto the Next

The Editor’s Blog defines the end of a Chapter “…the last scene, the last paragraph, the last sentence—brings closure to one chapter but at the same time needs to lead readers and characters to the next scene and chapter and story event.”

This is where I find myself. At the end of a particular chapter of my life. This chapter comes to a close much the way it began; with a scar. Fortunately for me, the doctors have all agreed that I’m going under the knife one (hopefully) last time to have my mediport removed; the device that was used for my chemo infusions.

Fortunately, I’ll only have a scar to show for my little souvenir. One of many that I’ve acquired over this last chapter. I’m going to be stuck wearing a one-piece swimsuit this summer, that’s for sure. Sorry, no witty picture or video for that. You’ll have to use your imagination. You’re welcome. Yes, I’m aware that Rodan & Fields makes something for that. No, I’m not doing the before and after photos. You’re welcome.

I’ve spent a good bit pondering on this past year. It would be easy to say that this has been a “bad year”. I refuse to apply any sense of goodness or badness to this past year. Time isn’t moral. It has no agency or action. All it does is … pass. I’m not going to deceive myself and say that there were not some times during this past chapter that I enjoyed more or less than others. The French have an expression for that, “Well, duh!” Ever expressive, the French.

are-you-pondering-what-im-pondering

My pondering has left me to think that if the past 16 odd months haven’t been bad, what have they been? Difficult, without a doubt. Challenging, definitely. Disappointing, in some ways. We had made some plans that Seamus managed to derail. And as the great American philosopher, Mike Tyson, once said “Everyone has a plan ’till they get punched in the mouth.” Seamus had a heck of a punch. I learned a lot, so instructive maybe.

Regardless of my thoughts on this chapter of my life, it is being marked closed. Part of me, can’t believe it. It honestly feels like a lifetime ago when this particular chapter started; Halloween 2017. Most of all, though. I think I’ll leave this chapter knowing that what happened, happened and couldn’t have happened any other way. How do I know? I’m still alive.

morpheus gif

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